After writing the last post on actually taking action. Not just waiting around for faith, actually trying to make things happen, bettering your life so to speak. The little protective bubble I had formed around me popped, I fell hard. & it hurt. Things weren’t what I though they were. Certain people weren’t that I expected, and the cycle begins again. I get hurt. Depressed, Detached from my surroundings. Retreat back into my little safe place, hide away from the world. A scared hermit crab.. retreating back to her shell. Hiding from her predators. Only venturing out to find a bigger shell when things get a little too tight. Spending her days, hidden, dark & alone. Only her own thoughts for comfort and company.
That’s me. When I give up. I hide. Trying to make myself into one of ’those girls’ pretty, skinny.. perfect. Like so many others I know. However hard I try it never seems to work, so I give up on that too. I go back into the harsh glare of reality, feeling the suns rays beating down on my weary face, dragging myself back to normality one step at a time. I seem to not care what people think of me any more, then im free. People become part of me again, I let them in again. Being to trust them too much, get hurt. & the cycle continues. ‘That Vicious Cycle’.
